


Out of the Dark

by welpcalledit



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fighting, M/M, Songfic, but its cute, ish, its not quite fluff, not too graphic, some sex talk, sorry if it squicks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-21 03:35:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/895310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welpcalledit/pseuds/welpcalledit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Multi-chapter SongFic based on Out of the Dark by Matt Hires</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First Shameless Fic  
> ConCrit appreciated (:

 

Mickey Milkovich was one tough son of a bitch. Every Milkovich was, just ask anyone in the SouthSide. Even Mandy, the youngest and the only girl in the bunch, did her best talking with her fists. No one was surprised at the ferocity of the Milkovich clan, with a mom who’d abandoned them for drugs and then died, and a dad who was drunk and violent nearly all the time. Mickey was the toughest though, with an unhinged recklessness and a pure love for fighting, booze, and drugs. And Mandy, of course. After all, if Terry Milkovich had taught his kids anything it was family comes first.

Mickey Milkovich wasn’t stupid, contrary to popular belief, and he wasn’t homophobic and he didn’t try to fight the fact that he loved having a cock in his ass. He just didn’t go around saying it because his piece of shit bigoted father would kill him and while Mickey was reckless, he didn’t have a fucking death wish.

But now, here was Mickey Milkovich, laying on a bunk in county, wondering why the hell Gallagher had come to visit him and why the hell he couldn’t stop thinking about the redhead and when the hell had he become willing to take a bullet for anyone who wasn’t Mandy anyway. 


	2. Chapter 2

_I’m burned out and wasted_

_I’m tired of pacing_

_I’m busy erasing voices of the dead_

When Mickey was seven, before his mom stopped caring about anyone and anything but the drugs she was on and avoiding her husband’s fists, she'd sat in the backyard with Mickey and a sleeping Mandy while their father was inside with the older boys and a few of his business partners. Mickey ran around the yard with a cheap plastic ball that five-year-old Mandy had stolen from her kindergarten classroom and brought home. Setting Mandy down in the grass, Mickey’s mom jumped up and chased him around the yard, laughing the most beautiful laugh Mickey had ever heard when she caught him and swept him into her arms. 

“Hey! Shut the fuck up bitch, I got business in here,” they heard a gruff yell through the back door and looked up to see Terry standing there. Mickey’s mom instantly grew silent and nodded her head, sinking back down next to Mandy with Mickey in her arms.

“Mama,” Mickey whispered, “why does dad always yell?” Mickey’s mother looked sad for a minute and before she answered Mickey spoke again, “at school we watched a movie and the mom and dad were in love and that dad didn’t yell at the mom. Are you and dad in love still? It doesn’t seem like you are. And why does he hate me and Mandy? Mama, can’t we just leave?” His mother stared at him as he delivered his inquiry, growing sadder as he spoke.

“He doesn’t hate you and Mandy, baby. He just has a hard time showing you he loves you. We can’t leave; he would come find us, and what about your older brothers? We can’t leave them behind and I can’t take care of you all. We have to stay.” She answered his questions softly but honestly, knowing her child was going to grow up in a rough neighborhood with a rough family, she wasn’t going to give him any false ideas about rainbows and fucking sunshine.

“But mama, are you and dad still in love?” Mickey asked, wrinkling his nose at the idea like it was silly, but she could see the conviction in his eyes and the sincerity behind the question.

“Dad is my husband, Mickey, but no, I’m not in love with him. I do love him a little, though, because without him I wouldn’t have my beautiful babies like you and Mandy, do you understand,” she questioned him.

“Yeah, I think so. But when I grow up I'm gonna be in love with my husband,” Mickey grinned at her.

“ Your husband? You don’t want to have a wife,” her voice was light as she asked but her brow was furrowed.

“No way, girls are weird and dumb. Boys are tough and cool. I don’t wanna marry a girl, I wanna marry a boy,” Mickey answered her lazily, quietly adding, “Besides, boys are better to look at.” Mickey’s mom frowned now, understanding something about her son that even he would have a hard time grasping about himself. She knew that the beautiful boy in front of her was already going to have a hard life and it had just gotten about a thousand times harder. She did the only thing she could think of to save her baby; she told him to lie.

“Mickey, look at me,” his eyes snapped to hers at the sharp tone in her voice and his face grew serious, “you can’t tell anyone else what you told me, okay? You have to keep it a secret, and you especially can’t tell your dad. He doesn’t like boys who like other boys. Do you understand that you cannot ever say it out loud again?”

“Yes mama. But…” he started hesitantly, “is there something wrong with me? Am I broken?” She hastened to take him into her arms and whispered quiet reassurances in his ear that he was not broken and that it was okay.

Before she could say anything else, Mandy woke up and tugged at Mickey’s hand to chase the ball around the yard with her. The smile instantly returned to his face as he played with his sister, the serious conversation all but forgotten at that moment. His mother laughed at them when Mandy tackled Mickey to the ground and when she heard car doors slam and an engine start in the front of the house she took each of them by the hand and led them back inside for lunch, handing Mickey some Jell-O out of the fridge and making Mandy a sandwich.

Two years later, Mickey was getting himself Jell-O and making Mandy sandwiches, their mother dead and buried. Mickey shut down all emotion when he lost her, replacing it with the wild, tough exterior the rest of the world saw that only turned into affection around Mandy, and now, ten years after the first and only time he said he liked boys out loud, around Ian Gallagher.

_  
_


	3. Chapter 3

_Everything changes_

_And everyone’s faceless_

_I wanna replace this darkness in my head_

 

The thing about Gallagher was he had walked into Mickey’s life and bedroom with a crowbar like he owned the fucking place and yeah, after they hooked up Mickey had kicked the damn ginger out of his room but he couldn’t get the solid muscles and shit eating grin out of his head. The fact that Mickey went looking for the kid didn’t help matters and getting fucked by him in the back room of the Kash n’ Grab definitely made things worse. It was after they got caught by Kash and Mickey took off, only to come back and find who he had started thinking of as _his_ Gallagher that he knew he was well and truly in trouble, but by then he was walking out the door with a Snickers bar and taking a bullet to the leg.

Practically the second his leg was wrapped in gauze and he was leaving the hospital he was tossed into a police car and escorted to county on a shoplifting charge that Kash had filed. Gallagher had pleaded with him to tell the court what had really happened, that Kash was Ian’s jealous ex-boyfriend and that’s why he’d shot Mickey, but there was no fucking way that was going to happen. Yeah, it might get Mickey out of juvie, but it would also practically sign his death warrant because he would have to say it out loud. He would have to admit that he liked cock and worse than that, he would have to admit that he liked Gallagher’s specifically and the second he walked out of the courthouse his brothers would beat the shit out of him and his dad would shoot him in the head. Hell, Mandy might even get a few hits in considering Gallagher was her “boyfriend” and anyone with two eyes could see that she was in love with the firecrotch.

Still, his mother’s words ringing in his ears about denying his sexuality and his fear of his father’s wrath were not the only reasons he didn’t tell the truth. The real reason he wouldn’t do that was Ian. Mickey had already accepted the fact that he was probably going to get killed for being gay and it was probably going to be a hit put on him by his own family. That being said, there was no way in hell Mickey was going to let _his_ Gallagher get killed by the same people for the same reason. So because of that, telling the truth was out and Mickey now had a year of nasty ass food and nasty ass people inside of this nasty ass prison to look forward to.


	4. Chapter 4

_In a strange, strange place, I’m lying on the edge of a star_

_In these violent days, I only wanna be where you are_

_Even fools they say… can find a way out of the dark_

_Help me out of the dark_

Mickey’s cellmate was named Allen and he was jumpy as hell, like he was on coke all the time, except there was no way he could be, first because they were in county and coke was hard enough to get on the street, nearly impossible in lock up, and second because Mickey always stole his stash of cigarettes and whatever else he got. Mickey even stole the fucker’s Jell-O, so there was no way he had blow without Mickey knowing.

The constant fidgeting was starting to piss Mickey off, but whenever Mickey told him to stop moving he just smiled this creepy ass smile that looked absolutely nothing like Gallagher’s shit eating grin and only managed to make Mickey more upset. One day the kid tried to climb up onto Mickey’s bunk and Mickey lost it, throwing punches before he knew what was happening. Still, after only three hits he managed to pull off, his mind reeling back to the first time with Firecrotch where they went from fighting to fucking in a matter of seconds.

For the rest of his stay in county, Allen was his bitch, and whenever he got too jumpy or pissed Mickey off too much, Mickey took it out of his ass. Mickey only ever swung at the kid one other time, the same day he stabbed some dumbass in the leg with a plastic fork for stealing his Jell-O. Just before he nodded off that night Allen whispered his question.

“Why’d you stab that guy, Mick?” he asked, and he sounded so much like Firecrotch for a second that Mickey let a smile slip onto his face. Then he remembered who the kid was and launched at him, pounding the shit out of his face. When Mickey was done, he stood up and looked down at Allen curled into a ball at his feet.

“Because I fucking felt like it. Now don’t ask me stupid fucking questions and if someone asks about your face tell ‘em you walked into a fucking wall, understand,” Mickey was seething as he leaned down and got in the guy’s face, “And my name is Milkovich. Not. Fucking. Mick.” He kicked Allen one more time in the kidney, knowing it would hurt like a bitch, before he got back in bed and passed out.

A few days later he found out he had a visitor and did a double take when he saw Ian fucking Gallagher sitting there with a nervous expression on his face. For a second when he sat down, Mickey checked his expression into a smirk. Ian saw the flicker of emotion in Mickey’s eyes, though, and the biggest smile Mickey had ever seen lit up his face. Mickey didn’t know how he did it without his face hurting. They talked for a minute before Gallagher told Mickey he missed him and when Mickey told him not to say shit like that he hoped Gallagher heard it for what it was; I miss you too.


	5. Chapter 5

_Have I been a sinner?_

_A lover? A killer?_

_Cause the world I’ve discovered_

_Feels nothing like my home_

_I wanna escape it_

_Or try to embrace it_

_I keep re-arranging everything I know_

Mickey walked out of juvie towards his sister and his boyfriend. Shit, did he just think of Ian Gallagher as his boyfriend, he questioned himself. He tried to cover it up with a smirk.

“What the fuck’s he doin’ here,” Mickey asked Mandy.

“Thought I needed protecting,” she grinned, throwing her arms around him.

“Hey Mick,” Ian said with an easy smile and Mickey had to turn his face into Mandy’s hair to hide the smile he wanted to shoot back at Gallagher. Mandy sank even more into Mickey when he came as close to complimenting her as a Milkovich could and told Ian she was protecting him. Mickey released Mandy and turned back to the guards, smiling and yelling at them to go fuck themselves. Mandy and Ian laughed and then Ian tossed an arm around Mickey and Mandy’s shoulders as they walked down the alley and away from the detention facility that had been Mickey’s home for the last six months. Mickey leaned into Ian’s touch, but just for a second, before shoving him off. Ian just smirked at him, his expression nearly identical to Mickey’s own signature smirk and holy shit it looked fucking hot on the kid.

After returning to the Milkovich house the trio played xbox for a few hours and then Mandy begged off to a party just as Terry got home. The boys ditched the house and walked to the baseball diamond. Mickey didn’t understand why Ian was taking so many summer classes and he definitely didn’t understand why Ian wanted to get his ass shot off as an officer in the army. All Mickey knew was that after his first stint in juvie, he didn’t want to go back, and that was because he didn’t want to be away from Ian fucking Galagher.

Of course, Mickey was a Milkovich, which meant he didn’t have the vocabulary to tell Ian that, and even if he knew how, he wouldn’t have said it, because that was too much like admitting, and that wasn’t going to happen. Instead, Mickey did what he knew how to do, he shotgunned a beer with Ian, called him firecrotch, and told him to get on him. And after, when Ian asked Mickey to go to the Sox game with him and Mickey couldn’t because he had to find a job, he bit his tongue and didn’t tell Ian what he was thinking, that if Ian wanted him, he’d follow just about anywhere.

Two minutes later Gallagher was offering to get him a job at the Kash n’ Grab and Mickey fucking knew he cared but he couldn’t help how his heart stuttered in his chest just hearing Ian reaffirm it by trying to get him a job. Mickey didn’t know how to say thank you, but asking if Ian was ready for round two was close enough, right? 


	6. Chapter 6

_In a strange, strange place I’m lying on the edge of a star_

_In these violent days I only wanna be where you are_

_Even fools they say can find a way out of the dark_

_Of the dark_

_Help me out of the dark_

 

FUCKING GALLAGHER. That’s all Mickey could think as he sat in the back of the cruiser after punching that cop in the face. Mickey was not looking forward to returning to juvie and he damn sure wasn’t looking forward to Frank Gallagher running his mouth at the Alibi Room and Terry Milkovich finding out about his son taking it up the ass in the freezer at the Kash n’ Grab. But Ian fucking firecrotch Gallagher had pleaded with him not to kill his dad so Mickey hadn’t, and he hated what that meant. That meant he cared.

            Ian watched the cruiser pull away from the curb and he had never hated his father more than he did at that moment. Ian was really sick of watching his sort-of boyfriend get hauled away by the cops just because of their relationship. Yes, Ian heard the harsh words Mickey spat at him, but with a Milkovich Ian knew that actions were a whole lot louder than any words that could be said. What it came down to was Ian had asked Mckey not to kill his dad so Mickey hadn’t, and Ian knew what that meant. That meant he cared.


End file.
